is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
