So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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