So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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