when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
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I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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