The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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