Duck Duck Cougar?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
i out mim tonsoeep
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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