i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
