i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
