god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
