I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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