The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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