i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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