I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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