Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i need some magic done to my vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
