Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize