That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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