Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
