Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
