Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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