just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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