Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Randomize
