Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You were trust falling into bushes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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