I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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