I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
