I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
