I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
