Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
