Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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