you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
