You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
