I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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