So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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