He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
