Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
