i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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