We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
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Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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