We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
