i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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