what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize