I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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