I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
