Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
