You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize