As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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