Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize