"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
