Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
