This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well most of my day revolves around power hour
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
