i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
