Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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(571): View more from Virginia

so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.

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(802): View more from Vermont

does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

(1-802): View more from Vermont

actually, i try not to think about it

(802): View more from Vermont

and i pooped them out

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(607): View more from New York

she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?

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(712): View more from Iowa

This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it

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(571): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones

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