He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Boobs speak an international language.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
