My first STD was from a foam party
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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