hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
