i think i have two assholes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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