he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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