Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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