im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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