I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
