After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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